WHY GO: Hedonism; for the pursuit of pleasure
FOR HOW LONG: A long weekend (take Tuesday off too if you can, hedonism takes it out of you)
WHAT'S MY BUDGET: You can get by on £20 a day if you bring supplies, but you’ll find loads of great food and tempting bars so take some extra cash in your bum bag if you can.
GETTING AROUND: You’re going to be doing a lot of walking, especially at one of the big ones.
LANGUAGE: music and hoarse shouting above the music.
Festivals let you escape real life for a weekend. There’s nowhere else where you’ll see so much live music, encounter so much creativity, be part of such an overjoyed crowd… or care so little that you haven’t washed in four days...
WHERE TO?
You may have missed out on Glasto tickets this year, (again.) But don't let that put you off. There are plenty of other festivals with ticket still available this summer. Here’s my top three.
JULY
Secret Garden Party, 20 – 23rd July, Abbots Ripton, Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire
Price: £197 weekend camping
Music: Metronomy, Crystal Fighters, Toots and The Mytals headline a weekend rave up
Grub rating: 2 –boutique and exquisitely beautiful, but with all the grime you’d expect from an all nighter over three days
Why go? no sponsorship, advertising, brand activations or VIP areas mean it’s the most creative & original festival on the circuit.
Good to know: This is the final year, so don’t miss your last chance to enter
AUGUST
Reading and Leeds, 25th - 27th August 2017 Richfield Avenue Festival Site Reading & Bramham Park Leeds
Price: £205 weekend camping
Music: Muse, Kasabian, Eminem supported by Bastille, Major Lazer and Liam Gallagher. Rocky vibe, but there’s loads to dance to.
Grub rating: 4, expect lots of muddy moshing
Why go? rocking out to old favourites and discovering new acts on the smaller stages.
Good to know: Alternative tent features comedy from Katherine Ryan, Bill Bailey and loads more.
SEPTEMBER
Bestival: 7th - 10th September 2017 @ The Lulworth Estate in East Lulworth
Price: £196 weekend camping
Music: The XX, Petshop Boys and A Tribe Called Quest highlight supported by Dizzie Rascal, Little Dragon and Justice. Lots of plinkety-plonkety dance tunes.
Grub rating: 1 this festival’s all about good vibes and glamour; look out for the world’s biggest confetti canon.
Why go? Great acts, beautiful site and quirky stages – including HMS Bestival, The Ambient Forest and Lovebot Park
Good to know: The festival’s moved to a new site for 2017 so you don’t have to schlep to the Isle of Wight anymore. Don’t get me wrong it’s beautiful down there, but queuing up for a ferry at the end of the weekend wasn’t much fun.
Now you've got one of these booked. It's important to remember, festivals can be hard work too. As a pampered city-dweller with everything on my doorstep, I’m used to being comfortable. You can still have that at a festival, but it takes a bit of preparation. So, here are my top tips that are often overlooked:
No. 1 You can’t have too many pairs of socks
Sounds boring for my number one tip, but you can have more fun when your feet are warm and dry. Wellies are a must-have, but I’d recommend walking boots too - if the mud isn’t ankle deep (fingers crossed) they’re a better bet. I’ve never had to wear my waterproof trousers, but I feel safer knowing I’ve got them. And pack lots of layers, you might have to sleep in a couple of hoodies.
No. 2 You can’t have too much glitter or sequins
Every year when I’m packing, I’m short on space and concentrate too much on the above. Then I arrive and get serious outfit-envy: vintage silk dresses, sequined jumpsuits, glitter facepaint, hair garlands and fancy dress. You only have to
see it to want it, so plan ahead. This year, I’m taking a pair of bright green sequined shorts.
No. 3 Don’t keep your vodka in a Volvic bottle
Last year, my friend Laura asked me to help her wash her hair and handed me a water bottle. She kept wincing and screwing up her eyes. I apologized for getting shampoo in her eyes, even though I thought I was being careful. It was only after we’d finished when she had a swig of the water and spat out vodka that we realized why it had stung so much. Her hair went quite crispy as it dried.
No. 4 Plan ahead
If there’re people you can’t miss, make sure you know where and when they’re on, and think about how long it’s going to take to get there. Don’t leave for the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury fifteen minutes before the Sunday night headliner starts – you’ll end up so far back you’re practically in someone’s campsite, and even though you might meet a nice man with a hipster beard and a spare can of cider, there are no guarantees.
No. 5 Don’t plan too much
You’ll have way more fun going with the flow. Keep your guide round your neck, but be open to recommendations and see people you’ve never heard of. Dua Lipa looks incredible in a rain mac and fishnets, and Christine and the Queens are worth dancing in the rain for. I only know cos friends took me.
No. 6 Go with a good crowd
You need people who’ll pick up when you fall flat in the mud, bring you a cup of tea when you’re so hungover you can’t leave your tent and who won’t lose their sense of humour when you insist on dancing in an underground cabaret tent til 6am. If you can, go with someone who’ll bring a gas burner for fry-ups, a flag for finding each other in a crowd and a supply of emergency toffee-crisps. I guess you could be that organised person
yourself, but I’ve never tried it.
No. 7 Don't forget the forgettables
From your wet wipes, dry shampoo, and earplugs to your vodka, toffee crisps and berocca - write a list in advance, and leave yourself time to pack them! If you're dreading this bit, there's some extra tips here!
Annnnnnd - you're good to go! Have we missed anything...?!
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